Friday Sermon Archives – Establishing Fundamental Unity at Home – 19th May 2017

His Holiness delivering the Friday Sermon from the Baitul Futuh Mosque in London. Source: File Photo.

The Review of Religions translation team is honored to translate and present Friday Sermons from the archives, delivered by His Holiness, Hazrat Mirza Masroor Ahmad (aba). Below is the official translation of the Friday Sermon delivered on 19th May 2017. 

After reciting TashahhudTa‘awwuz and Surah al-Fatihah, the Fifth Caliph and Worldwide Head of the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community, His Holiness, Hazrat Mirza Masroor Ahmad (aba) stated: 

‘The teachings of Islam revealed to the Holy Prophet (sa) provide us with guidance regarding every matter. If every one of us were to act upon this guidance, then a beautiful society could be formed. Today, if the non-Muslim world, which raises allegations against Islam and the conduct of Muslims, was to instead be given examples of Muslims who follow the true teachings of Islam, then they themselves would accept Islam. There are countless commandments in the Holy Qur’an, however, Allah the Almighty has consolidated them into one sentence by stating:

لَقَدۡ کَانَ لَکُمۡ فِیۡ رَسُوۡلِ اللّٰہِ اُسۡوَۃٌ حَسَنَۃٌ

Verily you have in the Prophet of Allah an excellent model” (33:22).

From [his conduct in] the home to public relations, every aspect of the life of the Holy Prophet (sa) was a practical example of all the commandments found in the Holy Qur’an. It is unfortunate that although the majority of Muslims read this commandment of Allah the Almighty and revere it, when it comes to acting upon it, they simply ignore it. True success can only be achieved when we are mindful of this example in every matter. Sometimes, a person exhibits excellent qualities in more prominent affairs, but neglects seemingly less significant things as if they have no importance at all. However, in contrast to this [attitude], the Holy Prophet (sa) has drawn much attention to such things through his sayings, as well as his practical example. 

Thus, if we desire to make our lives peaceful and we want to receive the blessings of Allah the Almighty, then we must inculcate those moral qualities in our lives illustrated before us by our master and guide, the Holy Prophet (sa), in every matter. Likewise, in this age, the true servant of the Holy Prophet (sa) [i.e. the Promised Messiah (as)] has clearly elucidated this example for us and admonished us to act upon it. 

In light of this, I will now speak about the responsibilities of men in various capacities. A man carries the responsibilities of being the guardian of the household, a husband, a father, as well as a son. If every man came to understand these responsibilities and tried to fulfil them, it would become a source of establishing widespread peace, love and harmony within society. These things then become a means of raising and spreading progeny which promotes peace and upholds human rights. This also leads to the establishment of peace in the home. 

Nowadays, many complaints are being received regarding domestic issues, where the man interprets being the guardian of the household to mean that since he is the leader of the household, he is above others and possesses full authority. [As a result] he neither respects his wife or fulfils her due rights, nor does he fulfil the responsibility of raising his children. Such leadership is merely in name. In fact, some women from India as well as Pakistan also send complaints that their husbands beat them so severely that they are left with bruises and injuries and swollen faces. There are even those living in these [Western] countries who commit such acts. Then, some fathers treat their sons and daughters in a manner that is tantamount to cruelty. If, even after having accepted the Promised Messiah (as), a person wishes to lead a life of ignorance, like the Muslims of today who have no knowledge of faith, and one continues to treat his wife and children like those who are ignorant, then there is no benefit in pledging allegiance to the Promised Messiah (as) after promising to reform one’s condition. 

Are men fulfilling their responsibilities with respect to the rights of God and their responsibility of improving their own standards?  If they are, then it is impossible for there to be any sort of cruelty in their homes. 

As the guardian of his household, the very first thing that the Holy Prophet (sa) taught his wives and children was the importance of establishing tauheed [Unity of God] and he ensured that his family acted upon it. However, he did so with love and affection, not by force. Despite being the guardian of his household along with bearing all the responsibilities associated with the reformation of the world and establishment of the Shari`ah [law], the Holy Prophet (sa) fulfilled his responsibilities towards his family and did so with love, compassion and affection. He fulfilled his responsibility of being the guardian of his household by emphasising [to his family] at the outset, that it was their duty to establish the Unity of God and to worship Him. Hazrat Aisha (ra) relates, that the Holy Prophet (sa) would wake up during the night to offer nafl [voluntary] prayers and before it was time for the morning prayer, he would wake them up with a light sprinkling of water, so that they may offer voluntary prayers, worship Allah the Almighty and fulfil the responsibilities which are due to Him.[1]

As for fulfilling his responsibilities towards the members of his household, the Holy Prophet (sa) would help his wives in their work and duties. Hazrat Aisha (ra) again narrates that throughout the time he spent at home, the Holy Prophet (sa) would be occupied with helping and serving the members of his family until he was called for prayer, at which time he would proceed to the mosque.[2]

This is the example which we must, and should adopt, instead of treating wives in a manner that is akin to cruelty. 

While elaborating on the work which the Holy Prophet (sa) would carry out in the home, Hazrat Aisha (ra) further relates that he would also stitch his own clothes, mend his shoes and repair household items such as the water bucket etc.[3]

Thus, keeping these examples in mind, many husbands will have to assess themselves and be mindful of whether this is the manner in which they conduct and carry themselves at home.

Hazrat Abu Hurairah (ra) relates that on one occasion, the Holy Prophet (sa) was explaining to his companions the responsibilities of a husband and the standard of his conduct, and said, “A believer whose faith is complete, is one who possesses good morals. The best among you in morality is he who is best in treatment towards his wife.”[4]

Thus, those who do not treat their wives well should assess themselves. Exhibiting good morals and kind treatment towards wives is not only an expression of good moral conduct, but as the Holy Prophet (sa) stated, it demonstrates the high standard of one’s faith.

Regarding the responsibilities of a husband and treating wives with kindness, the Promised Messiah (as) states, “With the exception of indecency, you ought to bear with patience all the other improprieties and discourteous behaviour of your wives.” Then, the Promised Messiah (as) said: “I find it utterly shameful for a man to be in a state of conflict with a woman. God has made us men, and in reality, this is a completion of His favour upon us. The gratitude that we owe for this is to treat women with kindness and tenderness.” 

On a certain occasion, the harsh nature and foul tongue of a certain friend was mentioned to the Promised Messiah (as) and a complaint was made to him that the individual in question treats his wife in a harsh manner. The Promised Messiah (as) was deeply grieved and said: “Our friends must not be as such.” The narrator goes on to say that) the Promised Messiah (as) continued to discuss how men should live lovingly with their wives. In the end he stated: “As for me, I once raised my voice to my wife. At the time I felt that this louder-than-normal voice of mine was mixed with sentiments of grief. Even though I had said no hurtful or harsh words I later sought forgiveness from God continuously for a very long time. I offered voluntary prayers with great humility and lowliness, and gave alms as well; for I felt that the sternness I had shown to my wife was due to some unconscious weakness in my obedience to God Almighty.”[5]

This is the example set by the Promised Messiah (as). Upon learning about the harsh conduct of a friend, the Promised Messiah (as) showed great concern and grief and admonished that those who argue, fight and chastise their wives over the smallest of matters should come to their senses. Not only do they chastise, but as I mentioned earlier, some even cause injury, and for such people this is a cause for great concern. According to the Holy Prophet (sa), the faith of such people is incomplete and they should be concerned about their faith. It was this saying of the Holy Prophet (sa) that caused the Promised Messiah (as) to become concerned, because a person who has not reached a high standard of faith can falter at any time. 

Thus, as I have stated, these matters may seem trivial, but in reality they are not. In these [Western] countries, such issues are brought to the police, which subsequently results in the negative portrayal of the Jama’at. Then, such people incur a worldly punishment along with the displeasure of Allah Almighty. 

Some men say that their wife possesses certain flaws, due to which they were compelled to act in a harsh manner. From this perspective, it is men who should evaluate themselves first and see whether they fulfil the standards required by their faith. Admonishing such men, the Promised Messiah (as) says: “If a man is not pious, then how can his wife become virtuous?” The first condition is that the man should be pious which can subsequently lead to his wife being virtuous as well. He states, “If the husband is virtuous, then the wife can also become virtuous.” He further states, “A man should not advise his wife with words alone, in fact, advising by setting his own example has a greater impact.” One should not merely advise verbally, or scorn and admonish; rather, one should exhibit piety through his actions and show that his every step is in accordance with the commandments of God Almighty. As the Promised Messiah (as) said, advice given through action is more effective. The Promised Messiah (as) states, “In fact, aside from just women, who would accept the message of another, solely on the basis of their words? (no one would accept until seeing practical actions). If a man maintains any crookedness or deficiency within himself, his wife bears constant witness to it.” He further states, “If one does not fear God, then why would any woman fear Him? Thus, just as the advice of clerics is futile, so too is the advice of such husbands. Therefore, a practical example is impactful in all instances.” He goes on to state, “If the husband wakes up at night to pray and weep, his wife will observe this for a few days, and then eventually, the same thought will occur to her and she will certainly be impacted by this.” He states, “It is within the nature of women to become influenced. There is no school for the reformation of women (there is no school or institution required for the reformation of women) that can be as effective as the practical example set by her husband.” If the desire is reformation, then men must first reform themselves and show their own practical examples, which will subsequently result in the reformation of their wives. The Promised Messiah (as) says, “God has created men and women as equals. It is an injustice on the part of men to give their wives an opportunity to point out their weaknesses. [A husband’s conduct should be such that] their wives are never able to say that they are guilty of any evil.” A husband should never give his wife the opportunity to be able to say that he possesses a certain flaw or that he commits certain evil acts. Instead, the Promised Messiah (as) says that a man should be so pious and pristine that, “Even after exhausting all efforts, his wife is still unable to find any flaw in him. At that moment, her attention is drawn towards spirituality and she is able to understand the faith.”[6]

When the wife searches, and is still unable to find any flaw in her husband, then at that time, even if the wife is not religious, she will develop an inclination towards the faith. Here [in the West], I have observed that women are more religious, and at times, they complain that their husbands are not inclined towards religion. 

On the one hand, there are the expectations of the Promised Messiah (as) from the men who pledge allegiance to him, and on the other hand, we observe that there are many men, as I have mentioned, whose wives submit complaints that they are neglectful of prayers; they do not even pray at home, let alone in congregation [at the mosque]. The religious knowledge of men is weak and the men of many households are weak in giving Chanda [financial contributions]. There are complaints about men watching absurd and immoral programmes on TV. There are complaints about the negligence of men with regards to the upbringing of their children. If they ever try to be the head of the household and try to be fathers, they do nothing but scold and inflict physical abuse. In many households, women are teaching men instead of learning from them, or drawing their attention [towards their responsibilities] so that the children do not go astray. In households where children are deprived of a good upbringing, the cause is generally the negligence of men or their undue strictness towards their wives and children. Several children come to me at times and complain about their father’s ill treatment towards their mother or towards themselves. 

Thus, if you wish to have a peaceful home, if you wish to raise future generations and keep them attached to religion, then men must be mindful of their own conditions. 

Whilst drawing the attention of men [towards their responsibilities], the Promised Messiah (as) states, 

“A man is the leader of his home. Therefore, if he becomes a bad influence, then it can only be expected that this bad influence will be adopted [by his family].” If his actions are establishing a bad influence, then this influence will also continue to impact his progeny. The Promised Messiah (as) says, “Men should strive to employ the use of their faculties at the appropriate time and opportunity. For example, there is the faculty of anger; when used beyond the justified limit, it develops into insanity.” Anger is found within human nature, however, when it exceeds the limits, it leads to insanity and madness. The Promised Messiah (as) further states, “There is a very fine line between insanity and anger. When a person becomes extremely angry, the fountain of wisdom is snatched away from them. In fact, one should also refrain from becoming enraged when speaking to an enemy.”[7]

One should not express anger even when speaking to opponents, let alone expressing it at home. This is the standard; that one should not speak angrily or senselessly even with opponents, let alone with one’s own wife and children at home. Even whilst refuting an opponent, a believer should never utter foul language and words fuelled by anger. 

As I have mentioned before, women from India or Pakistan write about the injustices of their husbands. Therefore, the Nazarat Islah-o-Irshad of both Qadian and Pakistan, as well as the auxiliary organisations, should pay particular attention towards this. Similarly, [Jama’ats in] the rest of the world should also pay more attention towards their programme for moral training. If you are doing Tabligh [propagating the faith] and acquiring religious knowledge, yet there is restlessness within your homes, then this knowledge and Tabligh are of no benefit. 

Whilst speaking about the psychology of women and the manner in which a wife observes her husband, the Promised Messiah (as) states:

“Everything that a man does and all of his qualities are observed by his wife. She observes that her husband possesses certain righteous qualities, such as being generous, tender-hearted, and patient. None other than women have the opportunity to examine [these qualities] in this manner.” Women are witnesses to what happens in the home on a daily basis. The Promised Messiah (as) further states, “This is also why women are known as Sariq [one who steals] because she quietly takes within herself various moral qualities [from her husband] until finally, there comes a time when she adopts all [of her husband’s] moral qualities.” He states, “There was once a man who became a Christian (after leaving Islam). His wife also joined him and became a Christian. First she began consuming alcohol, then she went on to abandon the veil. She (his wife) also began interacting with other people who were not related to her. Later, the husband reverted to Islam (he realised that he had made a mistake by leaving and re-entered the fold of Islam). He told his wife that she too should join him and return to Islam. She replied by saying that now it was difficult for her to become a Muslim. She could not abandon the habits of drinking alcohol and freedom [of establishing relationships with un-related people] which she had adopted.”[8]

This is an extreme, whereby the husband left Islam and embraced Christianity. However, there are many men who do not leave Islam, but remain attached to Islam merely by name, and still call themselves Muslims. Yet, in the name of freedom, they indulge in numerous inappropriate activities, as I have mentioned before. Then, the wives either imitate the habits of their husbands or are encouraged by their husbands, as a result of which, they too become influenced by this environment in the name of freedom. Eventually, the husband realises that his wife has become excessive in her freedom and when he tries bringing her back from the excessive freedom which she has adopted, it leads to disputes and quarrels, and even physical violence. Similar incidents are seen here [in the West] as well. As I have stated, the police along with women’s and children’s rights groups in these countries immediately become involved. Homes are torn apart and the lives of the children are also ruined. Therefore, before it comes to homes being broken and children’s lives being devastated, such men should understand their responsibilities to their wives and children, which have been assigned to them by the religion of Islam.

Once, while speaking about the rights of women and the manner in which they should be treated, the Promised Messiah (as) stated,

“No other religion has safeguarded the rights of women as Islam has. It lays down the injunction so succinctly:   

وَ لَھُنَّ مِثۡلُ الَّذِیۡ عَلَیۡھِنَّ

And they (the women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them’” (2:229)

The Promised Messiah (as) states, “It is said of some people that they treat their wives like shoes and require them to perform the most degrading and humiliating of tasks. They verbally abuse them and despise them and enforce the injunction regarding the veil with such harshness, as to virtually bury them alive.” In other words, they are so strict in forcing their wives to cover their hands and face that the wife feels suffocated. A husband should never be so strict. Islam is a religion of reason. Accordingly, on the other hand, women should be rightful [in adopting the veil] and should not try to attain excessive freedoms under the pretext of ease in Purdah [the veil]. It has been observed that some women adopt excessive freedoms, and their Purdah remains merely in name – this is also wrong. Women must bear in mind that they should cover their head and body according to the requirements of modesty. This is the commandment of Allah the Almighty and they should be mindful of it. 

With regards to the standard of the relationship that a husband and wife should have, the Promised Messiah (as), states: 

“The relationship between a husband and wife should be like two true and sincere friends. After all, it is a man’s wife who is the primary witness of his high moral qualities and his relationship with God Almighty. If his relationship with his wife is not good, how can he be at peace with God?”  If a husband’s relationship at home is not good, then it will be difficult for him to be at peace with God and fulfil His commandments. The Promised Messiah (as) further stated, “The Holy Prophet (sa) has said: 

خَیْرُکُمْ خَیْرُکُمْ لِاَھْلِہٖ

The best among you is he who is best towards his wife.’”[9]

These are the standards which every man should adopt. 

Furthermore, men must also understand their responsibilities as fathers. They should not be under the impression that the mother alone is responsible for the proper upbringing of the children. Indeed, until a certain age, a child spends more time with the mother, and in the very early stages of infancy, the mother plays a very crucial role in raising the child. However, this does not mean that men are free from bearing any responsibility. Fathers should also play their roles in the upbringing of their children, especially when boys reach the age of seven or eight years, and require more care and attention from their father. Failure to do so, especially in this Western society, results in greater chances of children going astray. In this matter, the same principle applies [to men] which was explained earlier pertaining to women, which is that men and fathers must establish good examples. Not only should fathers honour and respect their children so that they develop good morals, but it is also essential that they keep a very close and watchful eye over them so that they may be saved from the negative effects of their surroundings. 

Having a good relationship with their father also gives children a sense of security. Many fathers complain about their children’s behaviour [towards them] as they have developed a fear [of opening up] and have become mistrustful; or that they have developed a habit of lying. It has been observed that when fathers are counselled to forge a closer bond with their children and to establish a personal and friendly connection with them, generally, the children begin to overcome many of their weaknesses. Thus, in order to instil a sense of security within children from the external environment, it is imperative for fathers to spend time with their children, outside [of the home]. 

Furthermore, it is also the responsibility of fathers to ensure that along with making practical efforts in the good upbringing of their children, they must also lay emphasis on praying for their children – this is a matter of great importance. They should also focus on the religious training and education of their children. The true fruits of raising children are reaped purely through the grace of Allah the Almighty; however, it is also essential that one makes personal efforts as well.

Whilst explaining the manner in which children should be raised and drawing attention towards praying for them, the Promised Messiah (as) states,

“Guidance and upbringing, in essence, is in the hands of God. Nagging incessantly and persisting on a matter beyond reasonable bounds, i.e. to prohibit and rebuke children on every little thing, demonstrates that we are, as if, the masters of guidance, and will be able to bring our children on the path that accords with our own will. This is a hidden form of associating partners with God. My community ought to refrain from such a practice.” The Promised Messiah (as) said with regards to himself, “I pray for my children, and see to it that they follow broad principles, etiquette and teachings (he would draw attention towards our teachings, its principles and etiquettes); this is all, nothing more. Then, I place my entire trust in Allah the Exalted. The seed of goodness that is present in each of them, according to their nature, will flourish when the time comes.”[10]

Thus we should remember that when the Promised Messiah (as) has said that he prays [for his children], the standards of those prayers are very high, and we should not consider this to be an ordinary matter. We must strive a great deal in order to attain such high standards of prayer. This is not something that should be taken lightly and therefore, fathers must give due attention to this.

On one occasion, the Promised Messiah (as) comprehensively explained the manner and degree to which fathers should focus on the upbringing of their children. He said,

 “Some people entertain the thought that they should leave behind some wealth for their children. I am astonished that they think about leaving behind wealth, yet they do not think to worry about their children being pious, instead of being wicked,” In other words, rather than being wicked and evil, they should be pious and virtuous. The Promised Messiah (as) states, “Yet this thought does not even cross their minds, nor do they care for it. Sometimes, such people gather wealth for their children, but do not worry or care about their children’s potential. During their own lifetime, their children cause them to become disgruntled and they are troubled due to their children’s misbehaviour, and the wealth which, God knows the deceit and ploys they used to collect, is eventually all spent in the way of immorality and the consumption of alcohol. The progeny of such parents become inheritors of mischief and evil.” The Promised Messiah (as) further states, “The trial of children is indeed a great trial. If one’s progeny is pious, then what is there to worry about? God Almighty Himself states:

وَ ھُوَ یَتَوَلَّی الصّٰلِحِیۡنَ

Meaning that Allah the Almighty Himself becomes the Protector and Guardian of those who are righteous. However, if [the progeny] is wicked, then even if one leaves behind hundreds of thousands of rupees for them, they will squander it in immoralities until they are left destitute, thus inevitably falling into calamities and hardships.” The Promised Messiah (as) further states, “A person who aligns their perspective with the perspective and will of God Almighty is always content with his progeny, and this only occurs when one strives in developing the capabilities of their children and prays for them. When this is the case, Allah the Almighty Himself will watch over such progeny.” He will care for them and become their Guardian. Striving to develop their capabilities means to pay a great deal of attention towards their upbringing. The Promised Messiah (as) continues, “the Prophet David (as) once said, ‘I was a child, then a young man, and now I am old; I have never seen a righteous person deprived of sustenance, nor have I ever seen their progeny begging for scraps.’ Allah the Almighty tends to the future generations of such people. Therefore, you must become virtuous and establish an excellent example of piety and righteousness for your progeny.” In order to fulfil the due rights of one’s progeny, one must mould themselves according to the teachings of Islam; only then will future generations tread upon the right path and become a source of delight for their parents. The Promised Messiah (as) further states, “Demonstrate piety and become an excellent example of virtue and righteousness for your children, and struggle and pray to develop righteousness and faith within them.  You should strive in this cause just as much as you strive to gather wealth for them.” The Promised Messiah (as) continues, “adopt those practices which provide an excellent example and lesson for your children. In order to accomplish this, it is essential to first reform yourselves. If you are able to establish the highest levels of righteousness and piety and are able to please God Almighty, then you can be certain that Allah the Almighty will duly attend to your progeny.”[11]

Not only does Islam urge fathers to focus on the upbringing of their children and 

to pray for them, but it also teaches children that they have responsibilities as well, and that when they become mature, they must fulfil certain rights owed to their parents. The rights owed to one’s family are like links which, once fused together, can establish a peaceful society. 

Every believer should understand the importance and significance of fulfilling the rights owed to their parents. On one occasion, the Holy Prophet (sa) explained the manner in which a boy who reaches the age of maturity should fulfil the rights owed to his parents. Abdullah bin `Amr relates that a person said to the Holy Prophet (sa) that he wished to go for Jihad. The Holy Prophet (sa) asked him, “Are your mother and father alive?” He replied, “Yes, they are alive.” The Holy Prophet (sa) said, “Serve them both, this is your Jihad.”[12]

This demonstrates the importance of serving one’s parents. Furthermore, in order to foster mutual love and affection, the Holy Prophet (sa) said that even a father’s friends should be treated in an excellent manner. On one occasion, the Holy Prophet (sa) stated: “The best virtue one can perform is to show kindness to his father’s friends after his father has passed away.”[13]  

Then, Holy Prophet (sa) further expanded on this matter, which is recorded in the following narration:  Hazrat Abu Usaid Al-Sa`idi narrates, “We were in the presence of the Holy Prophet (sa) when a man from the Bani Salama came and enquired, ‘O Messenger (sa) of Allah! Is there any virtue that I can perform for my parents after they have passed away?’ The Holy Prophet (sa) replied, ‘Indeed! You should pray for them and beseech [Allah] to grant them forgiveness. You should fulfil the promises they made with others. You should show kindness and compassion to all of their relations in the same manner that they used to when they were alive, and treat their friends with respect and honour’.”[14]

Then, on another occasion, the Holy Prophet (sa) stated: “Whoever wishes to live a long life and for their wealth to be increased, should show kindness to their parents and foster ties of kinship.”[15]

Thus, children should not simply be pampered. Rather, when they reach adolescence, they also have obligations and must fulfil the rights of their parents. It is especially important to be mindful of these responsibilities after marriage. If an individual employs the use wisdom and fulfils the rights of his wife, while serving his parents at the same time, and also explains to his wife the importance of respecting her mother-in-law and father-in-law, while himself understanding the importance of serving his own mother-in-law and father-in-law, then disputes that arise from time to time would not arise in the home.

At times, a rift forms between a father and son due to a difference in religion; some new converts ask about [what to do in] such situations even now. In such situations, sons should always show respect to their fathers and must continue to serve them. Once, during a journey to Batala, the Promised Messiah (as) asked Sheikh Abdur Rahman Sahib about the well-being of his father, after which he advised, “You should pray for him (he was not an Ahmadi and was a non-Muslim). You should always strive to your utmost to care for the sentiments of your parents, and should prove the truthfulness of Islam to them by showing them that your moral conduct and your character is a thousand times better than before. The miracle of moral excellence is unmatched by any other miracle. True adherence to Islam can only be measured when it enables an individual to reach the highest levels of morality and become a person of distinction. It is possible that God Almighty places the love for Islam in their hearts through you. Islam does not stop one from serving their parents. You should be completely obedient to them in worldly matters which do not infringe in any way upon your faith. You should serve them with your heart and soul.”[16]

It is also a general principle whilst preaching, that a person should be gentle in the way they speak, and should exhibit excellent morals. 

Then, there is another incident in which the Promised Messiah (as) gave a detailed response. In this case, the father was a Muslim: “Once a person asked, ‘Your Holiness! Allah the Almighty has ordained man to serve his parents and be obedient to them. However, since I have pledged allegiance to you, my parents have become very displeased and do not even wish to see me. When I was leaving to pledge allegiance to you, they told me not to bother writing to them and that they never wished to see me again. When this is the case, how can I discharge this divine responsibility?” Allah the Almighty has commanded to serve one’s parents, yet his parents did not even wish to see him or have any connection with him, so how he could serve them and fulfil this duty? The Promised Messiah (as) said, “When the Holy Qur’an gives the commandment of obedience and service to parents, it also states:

رَبُّکُمۡ اَعۡلَمُ بِمَا فِیۡ نُفُوۡسِکُمۡ ؕ اِنۡ تَکُوۡنُوۡا صٰلِحِیۡنَ فَاِنَّہٗ کَانَ لِلۡاَوَّابِیۡنَ غَفُوۡرًا

Your Lord knows best what is in your minds; if you are righteous, then surely He is Most Forgiving to those who turn to Him again and again’. (17:26)

The Companions (ra) also faced similar dilemmas, wherein they became estranged from their parents on account of their religious obligations. In any case, you should always be prepared to inquire about their well-being, and when the opportunity presents itself, do not let it slip away. You will be rewarded for your intentions. If you had no choice but to separate yourself from your parents, solely because of your faith, and to give precedence to the pleasure of Allah, then this is something you were obliged to do. Strive for reformation and maintain good intentions, while continuing to pray for them. This matter is not something new that has just come about today, in fact, the Prophet Abraham (as) was also faced with a similar situation. In any case, the rights of God come first, so keep God Almighty at the forefront and do your part in trying to fulfil the rights of your parents, continue to pray for them, and be mindful of maintaining pure intentions.”[17]

It is important to have good intentions. Thus, for those today who ask how they can fulfil the rights of their parents under such circumstances, this answer should suffice.

In any case, men should fulfil the various responsibilities that have been assigned to them. Their households should exemplify an enduring atmosphere of love and compassion. A man is a husband, a father and a son, and as such, he should understand his responsibilities. Men possess many other roles as well, but I have specified these three roles so that a fundamental unity may be established at home. When there is peace in the family unit and efforts are made to adorn it as much as possible, then this ensures the establishment of peace in society. May Allah enable everyone to achieve this.’


[1] (Sahih al-Bukhari, Kitab al-Vitr, Bab Iqaaz al-Nabi Ahlau bi al-Vitr, Hadith #997), (Sunan Abi Daud, Kitab al-Salat, Bab Qiyyam al-Lial, Hadith #1308)

[2] Sahih al-Bukhari, Kitab al-Azan, Bab Man Kana fi Haajati Ahlihi…, Hadith #676

[3] Umdatul Qari Sharh Sahih al-Bukhari, Kitab Mawaqeet al-Salat, Bab Man Kana fi Haajati Ahlihi… Hadith #676, Vol. 5, p. 298, Dar Ahyaa’ al-Turaath al-Arabi, Beirut

[4] Sunan Tirmidhi, Abwab al-Ridaa’, Bab ma Jaa’ fi Haqq al-Mar’ati ‘Ala Zaujiha, Hadith #1162

[5] Mirza Ghulam Ahmad, Malfuzat Vol. 2 (UK: Islam International Publications Ltd., 1984), 1-2.

[6] Mirza Ghulam Ahmad, Malfuzat Vol. 5 (UK: Islam International Publications Ltd., 1984), 207-208.

[7] Ibid., 208.

[8] Ibid., 208-209.

[9] Ibid., 417-418.

[10] Mirza Ghulam Ahmad, Malfuzat Vol. 2 (UK: Islam International Publications Ltd., 1984), 5.

[11] Mirza Ghulam Ahmad, Malfuzat Vol. 8 (UK: Islam International Publications Ltd., 1984), 108-110.

[12] Sahih al-Bukhari, Kitab al-Jihad wa al-Siyer, Bab al-Jihad bi Idhn al-Abawain, Hadith #3004

[13] Sunan Abi Daud, Kitab al-Adab, Bab fi Birr al-Walidain, Hadith #5143

[14] Sunan Abi Daud, Kitab al-Adab, Bab fi Birr al-Walidain, Hadith #5142

[15] Al-Jaami’ Lishu’b al-Iman, Vol. 10, pp. 254-265, Bab Birr al-Walidain, Hadith #7471 – Maktabah al-Rushd Nashirun al-Riyaad – 2004

[16] Mirza Ghulam Ahmad, Malfuzat Vol. 4 (UK: Islam International Publications Ltd., 1984), 175.

[17] Mirza Ghulam Ahmad, Malfuzat Vol. 10 (UK: Islam International Publications Ltd., 1984), 130-131.