Farhan Iqbal, Canada
Preamble
Marriage is a sacred institution in Islam with very important objectives. In most cases, the objective is achieved through monogamy. However, in certain situations, a man is allowed to marry more than one wife, with the condition that he treats his wives with justice, and takes the decision with taqwa or God-consciousness.
The idea that Islam allows polygamy so that men can pursue lust, and as an excuse to fulfil sensual desires, is a far cry from what Islam actually wishes to achieve.
Time and time again, the question of polygamy in Islam is raised as a grave issue and a big hurdle to any serious discussions about Islam. The general idea is to ask: ‘How can Islam claim that there is gender equality, when it allows men to marry up to four wives? If men can have multiple wives, why are women also not allowed to marry more than one husband?’
Let us explore why Islam permits a man to have up to four wives.
Polygamy is allowed, though not mandatory, as a remedial measure for certain situations that may arise from time to time.
Not a Rule!
The first thing to note on this issue, is that polygamy is not ordered as a general rule for all Muslims to follow. Instead, it is a provision – something allowed – for special circumstances. The Fourth Caliph, Hazrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad (rh) explains it as follows:
‘…first this provision in Islam of marrying more than once is not a generality. It pertains to certain situations when it becomes necessary for both preserving the health of society and the rights of women to have this provision available.‘ [1]
The primary occasion then for the provision of polygamy is in wartime situations. During times of war, the number of men in the society is reduced due to war casualties. Consequently, there is an increase in the number of widows and orphans. For such situations, Islam gives the provision of polygamy, so that the widows and orphans can continue to have the possibility of a family life after the passing of the husband or father.
Hazrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad (rh) then explains:
‘…it is evident from a study of the Holy Qur’an that a special situation of a post-war period is being discussed. It is a time when a society is left with a large number of orphans and young widows, and the balance of male and female population is severely disturbed. A similar situation prevailed in Germany after the Second World War… There were a large number of virgins, dejected spinsters and young widows for whom it was impossible to get married.’ [2]
Hence, Islam proposes polygamy as a solution in a time of crisis. Islam does not leave the widows during such a time to fulfil their needs through extra-marital relationships. Instead of abandoning families, widows and orphans, in the hope of holding on to some notion of ‘equality’ and monogamous marriage under all circumstances, Islam offers a practical solution, keeping in mind the long-term health and spiritual condition of individuals – and the society at large.
In the course of this discussion, if there should be any appeal to emotion, it should be an appeal to the emotional state that such families are going through. Rather than abandoning them, Islam treats them with compassion and mercy. However, this does not mean that due safeguards and precautions are also abandoned.
Requirement of Justice
Those who do take to this recourse are reminded to treat each of their wives with justice, as the Qur’an states:
إِنۡ خِفۡتُمۡ أَلَّا تُقۡسِطُواْ فِي الۡيَتٰمٰى فَانْكِحُوْا مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ النِّسَآءِ مَثۡنٰى وَثُلٰثَ وَرُبٰعَ فَإِنۡ خِفۡتُمۡ أَلَّا تَعۡدِلُوْا فَوَاحِدَةً أَوۡ مَا مَلَكَتۡ أَيۡمانُكُمۡۚ ذٰلِكَ أَدۡنٰى أَلَّا تَعُوْلُوْا
‘And if you fear that you will not be fair in dealing with the orphans, then marry of women as may be agreeable to you, two, or three, or four; and if you fear you will not deal justly, then marry only one or what your right hands possess. That is the nearest way for you to avoid injustice.’ [3]
It should be noticed in this verse that ‘fair dealing with the orphans’ is among the primary motivations in Islam for allowing multiple marriages, albeit connected with a strict condition. Prior to the decision to marry a second wife, the man must first ensure that he will deal with his wives and any orphans with justice. If he is not able to ensure that, he should stick to monogamy.
Other Reasons for Polygamy
While one of the primary reasons for multiple marriages provided in the Qur’an is to take care of orphans, there can arise other situations where a second wife may be sought. The detailed commentary of the Holy Qur’an discusses some of those situations in light of the aforementioned verse. This issue is also discussed at length in the book: The Life and Character of the Seal of Prophets (sa) – Volume II, by Hazrat Mirza Bashir Ahmad (ra), pages 250-266.
Prior to fully understanding these secondary reasons for polygamy, we should understand what the Qur’an defines as the purpose of marriage itself. There are four objectives given in the Qur’an for marriage:
1. Protection against physical, moral and spiritual ailments [4], [5]
2. Continuation of human life [6]
3. Companionship and peace of mind [7]
4. Growth of relations of love and compassion [8], [9]
It is important to note that nowhere does the Qur’an state the purpose of marriage as a pursuit of lust and sensuality. That is not a purpose of marriage in Islam, whether it is with a single wife or multiple wives. Hence, any notion that Islam is making a provision here for men to lead lustful lives is a complete misconception.
There is a subtle difference between a marriage intended to fulfil lustful pursuits, and a marriage meant for gratification of natural desires. In the case of the former, marriage may become the means of exploring sensuality without bounds and limits, and such marriages eventually become deprived of comfort, tranquility, sense of purpose, and love. Comparatively, in the case of the latter, marriage becomes a means to curtail and fulfil natural desires along with the intended goal of finding comfort, love, procreation and protection against evils.
Some religions view any fulfilment of natural desires as lowly or worldly, and have taken the position that the most spiritual way to live life is to be celibate. Islam, on the other hand, does not take this extreme approach, and considers marriage a necessary means to guard a person from evils by providing an outlet for those natural desires, which exist in order to ensure procreation and the continuation of human life. Without marriage, a person would be in constant danger of committing sin, in order to fulfil those desires. An acknowledgement of the existence of such desires does not however mean that Islam has opened the door for lustful pursuits of sensuality as the only objective.
Marriage, therefore, is an institution in Islam, aimed at helping a person become more spiritual and connected with God. By having an outlet for those natural desires, a person can freely and calmly pursue the real goal in life – which is the worship of God. Whether it is a monogamous marriage or a polygamous marriage, this objective remains the same.
Furthermore, the four purposes of marriage listed above can apply both in the case of a monogamous marriage and a polygamous marriage. For instance, if the purpose of marriage is to guard oneself against evils, and this purpose is not being fulfilled with one wife, the husband is given the permission to marry a second wife. Hazrat Mirza Bashir Ahmad (ra) explains this scenario as follows:
‘…one purpose of marriage is ihsan, i.e., that by this means a person may be safeguarded from various ailments, evils and illicit deeds. However, it is possible that a person is confronted with circumstances whereby he is unable to uphold his righteousness and purity, whilst maintaining relations with a sole lady, who happens to undergo periods of menstruation, pregnancy, delivery, suckling, and other forms of ailments, etc. Then, even if by an extraordinary effort he is able to safeguard himself from practical indecency, in the least, one aspect of impurity continues to dominate his thoughts, or perhaps there is a risk of him becoming afflicted by some physical ailment. Hence, the correct remedy for such a person is none other than polygamy. In other words, for such a person, the very same purpose which was the motivating factor for one marriage, shall become the catalyst for another marriage in this case.’ [10]
This is just one example. There can be other situations where any one of the purposes of marriage is not being achieved with one wife. In such circumstances a man may seek remedy for his situation with a second wife.
Why Can’t Men Just Remain Patient?
Given the above understanding for the reasoning behind polygamy, critics have raised two important questions:
1. Why can’t men exercise patience instead of seeking a second wife?
2. If men are allowed to marry multiple times based on the above reasons, why can’t women marry multiple times based on the same reasons? Does Islam not see things clearly from a woman’s perspective?
The answer to the first question, is that it takes a great amount of naivety to suggest that men should remain patient all the time and never ever have recourse to having another wife. It is an undeniable fact that polygamy has always existed in the history of human civilization. This is especially evident in the long line of prophets in the Bible, who were men of God, and yet had multiple wives.
One critic has taken specific issue with the idea that a man decides to marry a second wife because he is not able to have a male child from the first wife. He argues that having children is much more important to women as compared to men. Why, in such cases, is it that the woman’s emotions are overlooked, and it is the man who gets the option to marry a second wife?
If the husband and wife collectively decide that the man should take on a second wife, because the first wife is unable to bear children or have a male child, what objections can any critic lay on them? What moral authority do the critics have over any husband and wife, who have decided to do this for their own circumstances and their collective happiness?
In fact, this is not just a hypothetical situation. Women and men have indeed taken this option, where the first wife was unable to have children. The man married a second time and was able to have children from the second wife, who were loved dearly by the first wife.
The fundamental issue at hand is one of intention, not the action itself. The Holy Prophet (sa) beautifully said:
إِنَّمَا الأَعْمَالُ بِالنِّيَّاتِ
Meaning, ‘Actions are judged by intentions.’ [11] Islam teaches that all human actions are to be judged by intentions. The fundamental requirement is that Muslims live their lives with taqwa (God-consciousness). They should be constantly aware that God is watching their actions and will hold them accountable for even their evil thoughts, as Allah says in the Qur’an:
ٍوَإِن تُبۡدُوْا مَا فِيْ أَنْفُسِكُمۡ أَوۡ تُخۡفُوهُ يُحَاسِبۡكُمْ بِهِ اللَهُ فَيَغۡفِرُ لِمَنْ يَّشَآءُ وَيُعَذِّبُ مَنْ يَّشَآءُ وَاللَهُ عَلٰى كُلِّ شَيۡءٖ قَدِيرٌ
‘…whether you disclose what is in your minds or keep it hidden, Allah will call you to account for it; then will He forgive whomsoever He pleases and punish whomsoever He pleases; and Allah has the power to do all that He wills.’ [12]
If the husband has a sinister intention in marrying any of his wives, he will be held accountable by Allah. However, if his intention is pure and his decision is taken with taqwa, and with a firm conviction that he is accountable before Allah, no critic should raise any questions from any presumed role of a moral high ground.
Why are Women not Allowed to Have More than One Husband?
Critics also allege that a woman has a greater right to the certain explanations and reasons that are given for a man to have more than one wife. For instance, as mentioned earlier, a woman would have a greater desire to have children as compared to a man. In such a scenario, would it not be more logical to grant her the permission to marry a second husband? Why is this provision only allowed for the man?
In fact, expanding this issue further, questions can be asked on behalf of women for each of the purposes of marriage discussed above. It can be asked: ‘What can a woman do if she does not feel that the marriage to one husband is safeguarding her against physical, moral and spiritual ailments? What if it is scientifically proven that her husband is the one who cannot bear children? What is the point behind this seemingly special treatment for the husband as compared to the wife?‘
All these questions seem fair. However, it should be understood that Islam views men and women differently. The natural tendencies of each gender are different, and a false notion of equality in the absolute sense does not exist in Islam. Instead, Islam promotes equality in the best form, and this is something discussed in another article: Gender Equality in Islam.
One result of the fact that men and women have different tendencies, is that women have a kind of nature that allows them to be more co-operative than men. Two husbands to one wife would have a higher likelihood to the eventual breakup of the family unit, as compared to a household where there are two wives of one husband. Men have a far lesser chance of being co-operative when sharing one wife.
Other than that, it should be noted that one of the primary objectives of marriage, as explained earlier, is procreation. If a woman has two or more husbands, each one of them would naturally desire to have children. It would be a huge burden on the single wife of multiple husbands to bear children for each one of her husbands. Those who are parents can understand that having even one child causes the mother to go through years of various kinds of pressures. Modern life seems to have increased those pressures on women, as current social trends show that mothers today choose to have 2.4 children each on average, which is a decline from the 1970s, when it was more than 3.
Imagine then, if a woman has more than one husband and is expected to have even 2 children for each husband. How many years would that take? What kind of pressures would she be in? And we are not discussing the pressures of the birth of each child. We are speculating over the long-term psychological and emotional needs of all the children from each of the husbands. Such a marriage has the danger of leading to the birth of children who grow up feeling that they were neglected by their mother or denied the kind of love and attention they deserved.
Furthermore, the lineage of each child would be unknown, and perhaps a cause for great frustration for each husband. We have DNA testing today that would resolve that problem for some people, but easy access to it is still not available for people of all countries and regions.
That’s not to say that such a scenario cannot work in any situation. However, Islam is a universal religion, and rules are made keeping in mind the whole of mankind. Even if something forbidden is beneficial for certain individuals, it does not mean that it is to be allowed for the masses.
Even when stating that alcohol is forbidden, Islam is clear in acknowledging that it has some benefits. Allah says in the Holy Quran:
یَسۡـَٔلُوۡنَکَ عَنِ الۡخَمۡرِ وَ الۡمَیۡسِرِ قُلۡ فِیۡھِمَاۤ اِثۡمٌ کَبِیۡرٌ وَّ مَنَافِعُ لِلنَّاسِ وَ اِثۡمُھُمَاۤ اَکۡبَرُ مِنۡ نَّفۡعِھِمَا
‘They ask thee concerning wine and the game of hazard. Say: ‘In both there is great sin and also some advantages for men; but their sin is greater than their advantage.’ [13]
The principle provided by Islam is to see whether there are greater advantages or greater disadvantages in a given act. When it comes to the marriage of a man with two or more wives, in certain situations, the advantages are greater. However, when it comes to the marriage of a woman with two or more husbands, the disadvantages are greater.
As such, from the perspective of a woman, if the objectives of her marriage are not being fulfilled, Islam allows her recourse through divorce, and to find another husband. That is the path which will bring her far greater benefits as compared to having two or more husbands.
In conclusion, marriage is a sacred institution in Islam with very important objectives. In most cases, the objective is achieved through monogamy. However, in certain situations, a man is allowed to marry more than one wife, with the condition that he treats his wives with justice, and takes the decision with taqwa.
ENDNOTES
[1] Hazrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad (rh), Islam’s Response to Contemporary Issues (Tilford, Surrey: Islam International Publications Ltd., 2007), 96.
[2] Hazrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad (rh), Islam’s Response to Contemporary Issues(Tilford, Surrey: Islam International Publications Ltd., 2007), 98.
[3] The Holy Qur’an, 4:4.
[4] The Holy Qur’an, 4:25.
[5] The Holy Qur’an, 2:118.
[6] The Holy Qur’an, 2:224.
[7] The Holy Qur’an, 30:22.
[8] Ibid.
[9] The Holy Qur’an, 4:2.
[10] Hazrat Mirza Bashir Ahmad (ra), The Life & Character of the Seal of Prophets (sa)– Volume II (Tilford, Surrey: Islam International Publications Ltd., 2013), 253.
[11] Sunan Abi Dawud, Kitabut-Talaq, Hadith No. 2201.
[12] The Holy Qur’an, 2:285.
[13] The Holy Qur’an 2:220
Add Comment