Nila Ahmad, USA
Growing up, I loved Disney movies. I’ll admit, I was into the whole Disney princess vibe. Of all the princesses, Aurora from Sleeping Beauty was my favorite. She traipsed the forests with three friendly fairies. What was better than that? And when I became a mother, I let my children watch the same Disney classics I had enjoyed.
It wasn’t until I showed them the movie, Brave, about a princess from the Scottish highlands who clashes with her mother about her life choices, that I paused. In the tradition of mothers everywhere, I raised my voice above the din of the movie to exclaim, ‘We’re Muslims and Islam teaches us to respect our mothers. We don’t behave like that.’ My boys gave me the side eye as I huffed and puffed. What kind of message was Disney sending anyways? Then it hit me. I couldn’t recall any of the heroines having a mother, let alone a good one. Wait, actually there were some stepmothers but weren’t they all evil witches?
To confirm my suspicions, I made a list as all good writers do. The heroines of Brave and Mulan were fortunate to have a mother, but their conflicted relationship stood in stark contrast to the tender bond shown between the father and daughter. The precious heroes and heroines of Beauty and the Beast, Pinocchio, The Little Mermaid, and Aladdin were just straight out denied a mother at all. And the piece de resistance is Snow White, Cinderella, and Tangled which all featured a fiendish mother figure who wished to destroy her precious daughter.
It is fortunate I never viewed these movies as anything more than the occasional entertainment. The stories my children heard started with a different kind of once upon a time. In fact they heard stories in their childhood that weren’t just fairy tales that but real, amazing mother-figures.
One oft-repeated tale I told them was of Hazrat Hajra (as), or Hagar, the wife of Prophet Abraham (as) and the mother of Ishmaeel (as). Her famous story goes that her husband Abraham (as) was commanded by God to leave her and their infant son in a desert valley, flanked by two mountains. By Divine command, she and her infant son were left alone in a desert valley, flanked by two hills. When her son began to cry of thirst, Hagar (as) grew anxious for there was no water to be found. As I told my boys this story, I would draw the two mountains, called Safa and Marwa, on a whiteboard. Their eyes would follow the dotted line I drew between the mountains as I explained how Hagar (as) ran up and down between the two mountains seven times in a desperate attempt to find water for her son, with firm conviction in her heart that if they were there by God’s command then He would certainly not abandon them in this time of need. It was an act of faith and anguish only a mother could understand. After her seventh circuit, she came upon her infant son kicking the sand and water bubbling up from under his feet. This was a story worth telling, as it depicts a mother who was strong and determined and had utmost faith in her God.
There were other stories to be told as well, like that of Hazrat Maryam (as) or Mary, the mother of Jesus (as). Some may be surprised to know that it’s not just Christians, but in fact Muslims revere and honour Mary (as) too. Not only is a chapter of the Holy Qur’an named after her, but her story is also related in the Holy Qur’an:
‘And the example of Mary, the daughter of Imran, who guarded her chastity – so We breathed there in of Our Spirit -and she fulfilled in her person the words of her Lord contained in His books and was one of the obedient.’ (The Holy Qur’an, 66:11-13). Along with Christians, Muslims believe in the virgin birth of the Prophet Jesus (as), a scientific anomaly which can occur and marked Mary (as) and the Prophet Jesus (as) as a sign for their people. She cared for and raised a noble prophet and remained steadfast in her faith even when people questioned her as to the singular circumstances of the birth of her son. Islam tells us her story as a testament to her role as a mother, one who showed immense strength and faith.
These aren’t simply tales of yore. The annals of Islam present several stories worthy of note. There is the story of a lady who visited Hazrat A’ishah (ra), the wife of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (sa), with two daughters in tow. When offered the only food left in the home, a single date, the mother cut the date with her teeth as her daughters watched. She then gave each one half a date whilst staying hungry herself. When the Holy Prophet (sa) was told of this sacrifice, he said, ‘Allah has assured Paradise for her because of what she did.’1 This is the honour and status which Islam renders to mothers.
These were the examples of mothers we grew up hearing, while we sat cradled in the laps of our own. They knew their own value and worth because Islam had secured that status for them. A status which is enshrined in the response of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (sa) to a companion who asked him who was the most deserving of his kind treatment. He answered, ‘Your mother.’ The companion asked a second time, ‘And after her?’ The Holy Prophet (sa) replied, ‘Your mother.’ When the companion asked a third time, he was given the same answer.2
Unlike Disney, you will find no villainous mothers here. And perhaps it doesn’t make for a good story and it won’t draw crowds, but as mothers, it’s comforting to know that Islam places us squarely in positions of honour and respect in our own stories, within our own homes. As this Mother’s Day rolls around once again, perhaps it is time to tell our children a different tale. Once upon a time, in a land far, far away there lived a strong Muslim mother…
About the Author: Nila Ahmad is the Editor of the Women’s Section of The Review of Religions. She lives in the southern United States with her family. Having graduated with an art degree, she has participated in the illustration of children’s books, as well as serving on the team for US magazine Al-Hilal. Her particular interest is in dispelling misconceptions around women’s status in Islam.
ENDOTES
- Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2630
- Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 5971
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